Archive for the ‘BEST OF’ Category

AbSoRptIon IntO thE mElody oF aByss


The Scenario: one night while the ticking of my wall mounted clock was lingering around the 3:00am mark, a time when most humans are sleeping, I found myself lying in my bedroom in total darkness, listening to Simon & Garfunkel’s Sparrow, and it was in the midsection of this song when I had, what can only describe as, a diluted Inner body experience of sorts.

The Song: For me there is only one way to absorb the sounds that a song has to offer and that’s with the eyes closed, an empty mind, and using a set of ear phones to play the beast straight to the brain as if the artist or band is nestled inside your skull with instruments and vocals playing out from within. Be it vinyl, tape, cd or mp3 it’s always the same, you get to hear the music as it was intended, with no outside noise pollution. slight sounds that seem meaningless in the open air now linger in the mind of all eternity, every bit of the song can be dissected and all instruments and vocals can be heard and fully appreciated.

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Will no one write her eulogy?
“I will,” said the Earth,
“For all I’ve created returns unto me,
From dust were ye made and dust ye shall be.”

The I,B,E Of Sorts: I was lying horizontal, staring into the back of my eye lids, the darkness I was witnessing was endless, a vast and gloomy nothingness without boundaries or obstructions of any kind, as the song continued to play on I began to look deeper into the murky abyss and that’s the moment it all got a little bit strange.

Even though I knew I was static and still within the confinements of my room, I had the sensation of high paced movement, that movement taking me straight up and into the darkness as if I was being absorbed into my own mind, leaving behind my physical being and riding the mind’s eye on a journey into the unknown. This strange sensation lasted around 30 seconds until i brought it to an abrupt end. I fired open my eyes to find myself still horizontal in my blackened room with he next song (Benedictus) about to start.

While in this state I had no thoughts nor did anything stand out, it was like being in a black hole with nothing to offer the mind, no faces, creatures, objects, not even a single lonely structure of any kind. Throughout the static movement I knew all i had to do was peel my vision blockers open and the bizarre state would end leaving me to ponder the last two minutes forty-nine seconds while absorbing the remaining eleven tracks.

When YOU close your eyes do you shut down? or keep looking?

F. Scott Fitzgerald: In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day.


Pumpkin Head Of Sorts.


– The photo was not edited or tampered with in any way –

I woke with a reptile behind the eyes, my mouth wasn’t living and my pockets resembled that of an empty vessel. The Reason behind this, A night out on the liquid funk in Sunderland city center.

The first task of the day was battle the desert mouth with a brilliantly pre-planned glass of stock tap water and orange juice mixture. After the intake i reached for my mobile device to plot the day ahead, upon setting a plan in motion i decided to check my photo’s from the night before, Flicking through, most of them end up a mixture of either nothing or a complete blurred mess, indecipherable to any human eyes, even 20/20 vision would fail to unlock the maze that was my snake bitten, finger to camera movement from that night, That’s until i noticed the strange pumpkin head like creature in the photo above.

This photo was the only one that bared any resemblance to human form, And I believe PUMPKIN HEAD to be one of two people, it’s either Ant or Sirm, Looking closer three figures can clearly be seen within the confinements of this photograph and for me the key to unlocking the true identity of this disfigured night lurker is the T-Shirt, who owns this black scripted t-shirt? if it is you, inform me at once and reveal the man beneath the mask…. Mr Pumpkin Head.

I’m gonna take you where your body will lie
I’m gonna take you there, she said
I’m gonna show you where your life will end
This curse I cast, you’re Pumpkinhead

Keep away from Pumpkinhead
Unless you’re tired of living
His enemies are mostly dead
He’s mean and unforgiving

Frankenstein-kebab: Man Or Myth


 – Extracts of a Wearside creature –

Some say he is a Frankenstein-kebab, a twisted mixture of severed body parts collected just after world war II, and assembled using a 50/50 ratio of half English half German corpse remains.

One source, who would like to remain anonymous put forth this bold statement “This BEAST has the tongue and eyes of Adolf Hitler

Some say he is a myth, a figment of many a crazed mind! Mr Henry a former cherry knowle patient said  “Arggggh The Wearside Krueger he lurked deep inside my nightmares for many moons”

Others say he has an uncanny resemblance to 1984’s

The Toxic Avenger.

Here is a few things i have read up on and come to believe about this elusive entity.

The fleshy outer covering is a shell hiding the inner truth, It is in fact a North East breed of Reptilian.

Around the 1993 mark after drinking the contents of a bottle of Wild Turkey, Gepetto the inventor stumbled upon Peter Jackson’s failed props cupboard. after another wish, The Frankenstein-kebab was born.

He is the bastard half Brother of Pinocchio

In Arabic it is known as سلطة المراوغ,when translated into English, this is the outcome: Salad Dodger.

They believe this creature dates back to the prehistoric period and is a out right carnivore. If salad were to pass it’s lips, it would kick-start an allergic reaction that would slowly consume it’s entire structure.

– Like So –

It grows in size by absorbing vibes and can often be seen deep within the murky back streets of Sunderland sniffing at the backdoor of many a house party!

It is Extremely dangerous… and you are NOT safe! as through it’s nazi eyes it will attempt to control your mind making you tear apart your own flesh and hand feed it until you pass away from severe blood loss.

After an online sighting pole voters declared by a maragin of 75% to 25% that it looked more 1966’s The Reptile Than Toxic Avenger!

Until around 3 weeks ago i had never made eye contact with a photo of this strange so-called reptilian, i only had my sighting reports and mock up artist sketches to go on. (Reptilians were made popular by David Icke, a conspiracy theorist who believes shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to control our societies. He believes that many of the world leaders are reptilians and were trying to gain power to run the world) that was until another one of my many sources who would also, due to legal reasons remain anonymous showed me a photograph they had taken while trying to (P)fend(T) off an attack by this over-sized vibe eater!

Many mythical beasts and creatures have allegedly been caught on camera and most have been dismissed as forgeries, Big Foot, The Loch Ness Monster, The chupacabra and so on……..

I now admit at first glance i was quick to doubt the authenticity of the photo that sat in front of me, it clearly bared some resemblance to previous sightings and it does look like mid transformation of a reptilian taking human form.

  But still to this day i have no idea if it was the real deal or just another failed attempt at tricking us into believing …

Take a Glance and make your own mind up.

Reptilian Or Plot Loss? you decide!

 – Mobb Deep (1994) –

There’s a war goin on outside, no man is safe from
You could run but you can’t hide forever
from these, streets, that we done took
You walkin witcha head down scared to look

Vincent: Through The Looking Glass


I am awoken to the deafening sound of silence, I find myself sitting down and my vision is severely impaired, it’s as if my eye lids have been treated with some kind of Transglutaminases or more commonly known as meat glue.

– Transglutaminases –

I take a moment to gather my thoughts then with a no holds bared approach i crack my fleshy blinkers away from the clutches of hardened eye slime! the first thing that enters my mind when i see where i am is, how did i end up in this strange place? when the intrigue fades away the crazy realisation kicks in and my brain begins to spiral out of control.

what is the god damn the meaning of this? have i been put here for a reason? can this room even be real? or is it some kind of twisted figment of my imagination?

Still sitting down i scan my surroundings with a sceptical eye looking for a way out but all i can see is wall to wall of shelfs filled with old books reaching all the way to the ceiling which must be around the 40ft high mark and shines with a bright white colouration. this is in total contrast to the floor which is possibly the blackest of blacks i have even set eyes upon. with only a single white chair placed in the middle of the room.

I stand up and attempt to walk over to the nearest section of shelfs  but it’s as if im supported by a set of weakened sea legs so i decide to stay rooted to the spot untill i feel confident enough to set sail to my destination. After a terrible case of the pins & needles I’m away, i start scanning the books but none of them have any names just dirty old hard back covers covered in a thick dust. The first book i pick up was written in latin and had unholy sketches on demons faces through out so i placed it back and walked on hoping i was going to find a way out of this terrible library confinement.

– Beelzebūb:  One Of The Seven Princes of Hell –

While searching for the ever elusive exit I’m stopped in my tracks by one book that stands out from the rest as it’s twice the size of any other around it, i try to take it out as I’m intrigued at what will be sprawled on the pages but it’s packed in tighter than grandma deaths suitcase So i decide to leave it and keep to the task in hand, after doing the rounds of the perimeter and coming to the realisation that there is no means of escape. I make my way back to the center of the room. did i mention that the seat is slap bang in the middle of the room?

sitting there once again my mind begins to wonder….. I’m thinking to myself that maybe one of these books holds the key to breaking on through to the other side like one of  those fake book shelfs you see in films where a certain book unlocks a hidden room but in my case it would release me from this literature lockdown by revealing the hidden door that could set me on my way!

Then out of no where im hit by one of the foulest smells my nostrils have ever had to deal with, “what is that putrid muck that’s entering my system?” if i had to describe it i would put it in the category of rotten flesh with hint of fresh strawberry! that almost leaves a taste in your mouth! this gets me back to my feet and starts the hunt . I’m thinking to myself i need to track down this fragrance and see what dirty creature is producing it, maybe they can give me the answers i require.

The stench seems to be everywhere yet at the same time nowhere at all, taking in lungfuls of this toxic junk im getting no closer to pin-pointing the source so i decide to keep my mind active and head back to the over-sized book to try to attempt to eject it from its perch. When i get to shelf in question some how it’s now the only book there. how can this be? I’m the only person in here, where have the other books gone? all the other shelfs are still full, why leave me this book?

I take it down and carry it back over to the seat in the center of the room where i blow the dust from its heavy structure and proceed to turn the first page, as there was no name on the cover i was unsure what i was getting myself into. I’m struck by big black bold lettering that reads Alice In Wonderland, But the words don’t stop there this is like no Alice in wonderland book i have ever seen, this version is told from the twisted accounts of The psychiatrist of The Mad Hatter…….

– A Mad Tea Party By Ralph Steadman –

As i can not see me getting out of this place any time soon i decide to absorb the views of this clearly deranged psychiatrist and see how his turn of events unfold, i take one last glance around to see if any thing has changed then i begin. Fast forward 5 pages and I’m bloody hooked on this riveting read…. like one of the most brutal addictions known to man my eye are in the zone and my brain in soaking up every last word. The deeper i get the less i blink, im in a total trance a crazy stare down with no way out, every paragraph fits together like a finely cut jigsaw and the words that my eyes are seeing my brain is totally agreeing with.

She is coming to an end, but like any good intake you don’t want it to stop, I turn the last page as if it was the first, how long have i been sitting here? it’s as if time has stood still. The words that have just passed before me could have taken me 10 hours or 10 days to read, i guess that is something i will never know! I decide to read the last ink at a slower pace to savour the moment, For the last twenty minutes or so i have kept hearing a faint shuffle behind me but when i turn to confront the noise there is noting in sight, maybe it’s the sound of my brain overloading or maybe just maybe it’s the sound of uncomfortable books in the shelf, I decide to ignore it and keep on reading.

– Standard Brain Overload –

Not far to go now, im entering the last paragraph, and what i find quite strange is it’s written with backwards letters, i struggle through and when my brain has reconfigured the last letter i know i now have this book imprinted into my thoughts, scrawled at the bottom of the page in red ink it states “The End”.

Before i have time to think back over the book i have just digested, im confronted by the loudest BANG my system has ever had to deal with, after sitting in silence for so long my ears are ringing to the sound of some one or some or thing hitting the ground behind me, was this the shuffling creature? I jump up and run to the scene of the crime, on route im tripped up by a rogue object sticking out the floor. I look it straight in the eyes it’s a big brass door knocker in the shape of a lion’s head situated on top of a 5ft by 5ft cellar door, could this have been here all along and what a strange place for it to be situated. Is this the way out or is it just a jolt back in time to grandma’s fruit cellar? It’s a good job there is no mirrors in the place i have a strange feeling that i might have the same facial structure as Bruce Campbell.

A slight bout of fear starts to creep up my spine, surely this can not be, have i been here for that long that i have been struck with a case of Agoraphobia, ive been wanting to escape the clutches of this place for so long that now i dare not leave. In front of me is possibly the only way out and now i seem to be having second thoughts, I decide to make my way back to the chair for one last glance at the place that has held me captive.

sitting down i come to the conclusion that I’m still none the wiser at why i have been put here and I’m wondering if any of the books in the higher shelf have even seen the eyes of a human being, If i was to fight the urge to leave and keep searching would i locate the Necronomicon? would i find a back log of unpublished works by dead authors? without a decent set of ladders it would be touching on the brink of impossible to reach even the 4th shelf never mind the ones near the top and what if i was to find my name etched into the guts of the Necronomicon? does this mean I’m dead and this is actually the after life? or maybe the reason i am trapped here is some freakish flesh covered cyborg is out their mimicking my movements, leaving the people i know none the wiser of my disappearance. and the reason he knows so much about me is i am trapped in his memory volt.

– Necronomicon: The Book Of The Dead –

This is just far too much to take in, with the thoughts that are nestled on my brain i am finding it quite hard to maintain any type of sanity and i decide it is the final straw, I stand up and make my way over to the lion’s head, once there i kneel down and sound out three heavy knocks on its brass handle incase there is some kind of gate-keeper awaiting me on the other side. After 3 1/2 minutes or so with no reply i grasp the handle and with one foul swoop i flip it over.

A bright white light shines up from the 5ft by 5ft hole in the floor nearly knocking me over i take a step back utter the words “Sweet Jesus what have i awoken” and without thinking of the consequences i dive straight in, I’m falling, or am i? i have the feeling of falling but it’s far too bright to know whats going on, my eyes are not picking up any shapes or objects just mind a boggling brightness, this goes on for what feels like eternity, just i was starting to feel quite relaxed while experiencing what can only be describes as total weightlessness, i come to a vicious stop.

Once again i find myself in a bundle on the floor, i pick myself up open my eyes and take a look around. This can not be happening is the first thought to jumps into my head……… Where am i your asking your self, well i am standing on a bright white floor surrounded by wall to wall of book shelfs filled with old dusty books. They say don’t judge a book by its cover, well where i am that’s quite easy as none of the covers have names. Any way who are THEY? are they the bastards who put me here? what the hell is going on? i stop thinking for a second and glance up at the ceiling, it’s of dark black colouration and the only thing i can make out is a single white upside down chair situated right in the middle.

– Remember noting is what is seems –

Give someone a piece of paper and ask them to write you a story, then sit back and watch as they as they write in diagonal line like some kind of pre programmed robot.

Give something a piece of paper and ask it to write you a story, then sit back and watch in astonishment as it starts from the middle and works its way around in an outwards spiral entrancing the reader and leaving them in a dizzy mess.

Through The Looking Glass.


The Place: Souter’s caravan The Date: new years eve 2010

We fled from our humble abodes leaving behind the normal and went in search of loud music, whiskey, ice-cold party cylinders and a night of unforgettable wildness, hyped up beyond control there is now way this plan could fail, and if the other caravan attacks were any thing to go by i was destined to wake up with Blurred Vision, Sever Memory Loss, Dead Dogg Mouth and The Unholy Creature lurking behind the eyes.

“Standard Memory Loss”

The usual suspects arrived and the intoxication began.

  Sounds and movement were taking place but I myself had drifted off into some kind of Isolated state, the humans and objects around me had faded away and i was experiencing total tranquillity in the most purest form, but thankfully that’s when my brain decided to kick back into action and what i had to do next became quite clear.

I had to locate a way of traveling back in time and hijacking a distant vibe, a part of my history that shone with greatness involving a batch of familiar beings floating on the same level and basking in the delights that the crazy liquid called booze had to offer. that’s what i was hoping to locate, i wasnt looking at years or even months all i asked for was days eleven of them to be precise.

I was not familiar with the ins and outs of time travel but somehow that end up working to my advantage, i Mean i had seen a few films all with different methods but i had nor the means or the technology to put these into practice.

I scanned the room and located my point of entry aka ICD (Impact Count Down), it was a calendar placed on the wall opposite me depicting some type of over-sized bird, for some reason the night i was looking for the 17th i had all ready marked that date with full-blown caravan sesh (as can be seen below) only now do my frantic scrawling become clear, i new one day i would need to revisit this moment in time and absorb some of its raw power. As the night in question was one crazy son of a bitch………..

At this point in time i was in total concentration mode nothing but pure eye contact and the utmost belief would get me through this moment of madness, my pinprick eyes were locked and nothing was going to stop me now, i was experiencing tunnel vision at its finest, me and the objective were as one and in a matter of seconds i was either going to be sent hurtling back in time or hit the floor and smell the sweet stench of failure.

My whole body began to rattle as deep inside my brain i started the count down from 13, i knew once i got to zero none of fellow brethren could be in the way of me and the designated impact area as there could only be two ways this was going to end, either 1, Total Skeleton vaporisation or 2, being dragged into the worm hole without a ticket and if you go by what the good doctor had to say, you have to buy the ticket to take the ride.

Three Two One

I jumped up and charged like some giant frenzied buffalo trying to escape the clutches of a blood thirsty predator, my destination was closing in so i decided to take flight and brace myself for impact, BOOM i hit the oversized bird square on and to my amazement time stood still, i glanced over at faces of pure shock and bewilderment as this black hole slowly absorbed every particle of my body.

Once inn it is was just like being trapped in some dream state or watching back through hours of raw footage i could see the days that have passed me, it was if i was being dripped through time like a leaky keg of whiskey from the 1930’s, blurred faces, misshapen structures, the sounds of haunting words that were far to twisted for the human ear to pick up on.

Spiraling down through this strange memory vortex the next thing i know im hit by a brutal flash of light and my god there it is, the whole reason for me taking on this strange time traveling adventure, the 17th of december 2010 in all its glory, like some kind of fly on the wall i watched a version of the night never seen before, speed up to 1000 times normal speed, its enough to send the most sanest of humans into a total mind melt down. but to me this was exactly what i needed to see in this point of time, or was it?

“could i really keep a grasp on my sanity after seeing and hearing what had just passed before my very own eyes?”

Before i even has time to think on the matter i was spat out to a mighty BANG, i had hit the floor and was back in the caravan, i looked around and it was if nothing had changed the same shocked faces, the same caravan, i was back and to those in the room it was as if i had never left, for them this whole ordeal was over in a matter of seconds but to me i knew exactly what had taken place, i had taken on time travel in all its beauty and it dared to give me a glimpse of what can be achieved with the right frame fo mind.

I sat back down, took a quick lung full of air and a sip of ice-cold whiskey and got on with the night, i did not mention the trip i had taken nor the vibes i had picked up, but needless to say the night unfolded into a messy pit of drunken perfection, good music and good standard crazyness all around.

Looking back i will never know if it was my vibe hunting mission that made the night what it was, but then again you have to ask yourself maybe if i never left th night would have followed the exact same path or it could have even unfolded into a different state, but what i do now is i and the people involved in this winters might in 2010 drank and partied all the way through to 2011 in style……..

Above you are looking at the actual photo taken on the night that has somehow managed to evade capture and stay hidden from the general public. that is untill now when the NMB finally revealed the structure behind its true movement.

Vegetarians vs Cannibals


After posting the song Rat Race by Bob Marley the other day one of the lyrics has been stuck firmly in my head like a harpoon gun in a two month old calf’s neck, that extract is,“In the abundance of water, The fool is thirsty” for some reason this sent my mind into a frenzy and got me thinking about things you enjoy and take for granted, not taking into consideration that maybe one day that so-called endless supply will run out. After picking away at the surface of this quotation i finally revealed its true identity, and the outcome of my thoughts were,

“vegetarians Dont Make Good Cannibals

In the scarcity of meat, vegetarians rule the world

“In the scarcity of vegetarians, meat eaters have a full stomach and a smile on their face”

A tall woman walks into an all you can (M)eat restaurant and says to the waiter “Excuse Me What Is Your Special Today?”

The male waiter looks up and reply’s “A Vegetarians Leg”

If all kinds of animal meat were to be wiped out by a super virus, maybe a mixture of Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cows disease) & Avian influenza (bird flu) vegetarians would go on without loss totally unaffected by this mysterious mass animal death, but us meat eaters who enjoy indulging in the delights of another species flesh would go into total melt down.

  Only then would you realise you were addicted to eating dead animals, and to go on living without this luxury would not be an option. At first you would be struck by the brutal symptoms of withdrawal, and its at this point meat eaters would start forming cults and street gangs with only one purpose on their minds, hunting killing and eating all vegetarians.

“Human meat is better than no meat at all”

Meat to meat, you know what your fellow flesh eater is going through, and its the un-written rule that has been with you from birth, but untill this very moment you have never needed to tap into its structure. and that rule is  “meat eaters don’t eat from each other” instead they adopt the vampire way like some kind of survival tactic, and like the day that calf first learnt to walk before its brutal demise you just know what you have to do, and instinct takes over quicker than a powerful poltergeist.

Just like the way it is second nature for a Vampire to hunt humans for sustenance.

Humans will quickly learn how to feed their addiction by hunting vegetarians.

Inner Sustenance: Zombies Laid Bare


It is a well-known fact that a large majority of the world’s population enjoys eating the meat of another species but why and what is it that makes zombies lust for the inner delights of what used to be their own kind? what takes over the general functions of the so-called walking dead and sets their sights solely on hunting human BRAINS? Well there is a festering amount of misinformation floating around concerning the matter in hand but hopefully after this slight insight i put forth all your questions will be answered.

Humans are turned into zombies by a Virus/Parasite or coming into contact with a batch of toxic waste, your classic zombie will only eat a part of the human brain this helps spread the infection by making the person who it is feeding upon also become a zombie, this means you can rule out zombies eating brains for hunger purposes and shows they do this to help multiply their own kind, but let’s get things straight not all zombies eat brains for the same reasons

To prove this i have located a video of Tar Man from the 1985 classic Return Of The Living Dead In this zombies eat brains because it hurts to be dead and they can feel their bodies rotting, you can view this statement in the second video, the first video highlights the blatant disregard zombies hold for living things, as you can see he only has one thing on the remains of his mind!

“They can feel their bodies rotting”

“The Zombie Life Cycle”

Humans eat Birds, Birds eat Zombies, Zombies eat Humans

You could add humans eat humans to this cycle but that my friend is called cannibalism and i will leave that for another time.

birds eating zombies? well vultures eat CARRION and carrion is “dead and rotting flesh” which makes up around 80% of your standard zombie, so that can be thrown down as a legitimate fact and proves my zombie life cycle to be accurate. Now for an overdose of raw musical brain intake, i leave you with The Misfits: Braineaters

Hungry For Flesh?



I am a true believer that any human who possess a fully functional and correctly wired brain is partial to a good standard cannibal film, quite like myself, so when an unnamed phantom postman drops an unmarked envelope through your front door in the darkness of night containing a dvd named DEEP RIVER SAVAGES aka Man From Deep River, you begin to think things must be on the up, even if you have been trapped in the pit that is my bed for a solid week not being able to walk or move as the devil has locked his fiery palm on my lower spine in the form of Back Spasms

“by far the worst pain i have ever known”

Luckily for me the good doctor has kept my system topped up with a spaced out batch of medicine from his personal suitcase consisting of a double drop of Tramadol aka Frankie Boyle’s to be taken 3 times day accompanied with Diazepam & Diclofenac which send me hurtling into the right frame of mind to take on this 1972 flesh thirsty film.

I have looked into the structure of this so-called classic and what it will have to offer me, not just visually but mentally as i think it would be quite foolish on my behalf to dive straight in without adequate information and a slight insight into the main characters, one of the first things i found out about this film is it’s from the director of cannibal ferox & eaten alive and is also considered to be the first “cannibal film” ever made and with a quotation like “I’m a human being like you, I’m a man not a fish” you know this film is going to keep me on the right track and help fend off the lurking beast that is boredom, as i fear it is only a matter of time before i snap under the pressure of no movement and allow the brain sludge from within to take over. A mixture of good music and strange visuals have worked so far and long may it continue untill once again i can rejoin the land of the living.

The devil makes works for idle hands”

Whiskey Galore.


It’s saturday and the urge for raw whiskey has burst on the scene like a stench of 3 week old dead rat. demanding the taste of this vicious wet devils liquid I set my sights on a scavenge and what i have located is far more twisted than any side-show circus freak act you have ever seen, the madness that leaks from within this one minute video itches like a cheap clowns mask. It’s man in the midst of a total psychotic break down, going far deeper than any general function and pushing the boundaries beyond the limit, only to leave them there like a fly tippers wet dream, ladys and gentleman i give you the WHISKEY GALORE drinking song.

This video captures the moment to perfection and sets a brutal standard that can never be matched many men have attempted to recreate this savage display, but not many break on through to the other side with their mind marbles intact. It will leave you with a deranged laughter ringing at the back of your mind from many months to come.

Unknown Parasites


For the past two days I’ve had the frantic task of capturing and editing the jig saw of movement that is Sunderland’s end of 2010 web edit “Unknown Parasites” (homage to NSF The Unknown) with help from Ben Goodall and a crazy pre set dead line of new years eve…. Benn’s household was chosen for the brutal task in hand, as always the mission was left until the very end, days before the beginning of 2011, it does not get any more end of than the last day of 2010, square eyed and full of raw determination we took this bastard head on with a no holds bared attitude.

Dawson aka the lad was drafted in as his prehistoric recording device is in a world of it own and the tapes refuse to work in any new age technical camcorder. the clocks pace wasn’t slowing down and hours seemed like minutes. but after a hefty bout of tenacity, 15 hours spread over a two day shift to be precise it’s finally finished and ready for viewing.

Featuring appearances from Mark “dchum” Davis,  Benn Goodall, Steven Dawson, Brogan Carthy, Sam Watson, Raymond Inskipp, Jake Kitching, Jay Taylor, Robin Watson, Craig Carlin, Ryan Hendry, Chris Telford, Kalvin Wynn, Stephen Defty, Jonny Linsley & Scott Thompson, this is the first home-made street edit since mine & Jonny L’s “End Of 2007” & Pete Greaves “For Those About To Peg. and with plans of making a DVD next year it may be the last for some time. and for the older participants even the last, as hanging the pegs up could be around the corner.


Watch in 720p hd with the volume turned right up

The Curious Case Of Dead Eyes


Huxley Wordplay

At ordinary times the human eye concerns itself with such problems as Where? – How far? How situated in relation to what? In the booze fueled state of mind the questions to which the eye responds are of another order. Place and distance cease to be of much interest. The mind does its perceiving in terms of intensity of existence, profundity of significance, relationships within a pattern.

To reach the level of intoxication that these whores of sub-human funk have, it will take a deranged mind and a raw bout of heavy tenacity, be aware skeletons of a nervous disposition should stay well clear, as this kind of intake rots your mind from the inside out and is destined to leave you with only one outcome – a case of withnail’s “Bastard behind the eyes” the only plus to an intake of this stature is if you have seen and logged the quote from the film Mongol: the rise of Genghis Khan, it states “Evil spirits dive into big eyes” and if you scan over the photo’s what follows this short passage you will realise there is no chance of that.

Below i have stockpiled a diverse mixture of extreme cases of festering dead eye’s aka “Fleshy Camcorders Of Doom”

“The eyes are the mirror of the soul”

Bio Hazard (BEWARE)


To Mr Wah Wah and the reuniting of the filth

As you are aware i have been reacquainted with the devil’s merchandise, i advise sending a dozen green berets, have them dressed in full chemical attire as safety is the main aim of the risky transportation, you know all to well the side effects of this dirty beast so once in your possession “handle with extreme caution” and if you know whats good for you i also advise writing a short eulogy and burying this fucker beyond the standard 6ft of a human corpse unless you want to be one on one with a powerful case of Bennie and the Jets. just ask tusk it’s a vibe no man should have to deal with. cloontang once said “I’m bringing it back” well that’s just bullshit you come and get it movement for me is not an option, may i add the importance of keeping this mission under wraps, if Julian Assange publishes this information, they will have us shaved, sterilised and destroyed

Whiskey Wildness.


Waking up with a void in the stomach and filling the vast empty space with a large amount of full strength coffee has made me bug-eyed and ready for the insight ahead.  I start this like any other story using words, I’m going to be mashing them together in an attempt to create a scratch on the core of english literature, what i am about to slap down can never be recreated, any attempts will surly end in a catastrophic death on the most brutal scale.

I have to begin the process of scanning back over the 1000’s of thoughts whizzing around my normal sized human skull, this may take several hours as i have a terrible back log of mesmerizing memory’s up there, and i would say 93.5% are far to twisted for human consumption.

I share with the eyes that are locked on this screen the movements that took place on saturday 11th december a night of inner monsters ice-cold whiskey and displays of greatness that would not look out-of-place at the cherry knowle christmas disco.

We were trapped like 1970’s slaves in the confinements of caravan hell on an endless hunt for more of that devil liquid they call BOOZE, each man in his own search for the ever elusive fill point, and once they have pushed the boundaries to a whole new level and finaly reach it only then do we begin to see what lurks beyond the flesh and bone, even the quite ones have an inner beast but it takes a % to unlock the cage and free the freakish power from within. luckily for us on the night in question The Chug didn’t show his ugly face. “full-blown 500ml of  fear and loathing gone in 4 seconds”, it makes you take a step back and realise what a fucked up society we live in, creating contraptions and strange piping systems to fuel the darker side of life at a staggering pace, was booze brewed to hit the spot that quick? this is something that is unknown to me as it only states on the cylinder “drink responsibly” but the pace of what to take this intake on, is nowhere to be seen.

skip 3 hours into the night and shits turned messy fast, the pen faced jester is on a form that would flatten any session, every man to his own has found the vibe that can only result in one out come “total meltdown”, memory’s are erased after each ghastly swig, one minute there is nine and the next thing you know it’s 18 and you have been slapped in the face by the dreaded double vision, but would you change anything? fueled to the 9’s your having the time of your life, even if tomorrow your going to be riding a seven hour green wave you drink on like a trooper as deep down you know it’s worth it.

I recall, mind-boggling conversations, a strange clutch of hand in hand conspiracy madness, balloons filled with toxic terribleness, dance floor techniques that would have michael flatley looking for the exit, a peculiar case of whitey recycling,  a heavy round of full vocal onslaught from some of the stadium of light’s classics, fantastic human firework displays, slippery out side ice deaths, more whiskey, home-made caravan MMA, the iron swan take over, an exit to the land of the bar codes for some horsing around, untill one by one people disappeared into the darkness trying to grasp a small dose of reality to get them home for a large case of human detoxification.

“Please note names have been left out for legal reasons, and the photo’s below are all fabricated”

The theme of the night was a vicious display of musical talent from none other than the hidden master Mr Sonny James

Saturday Night Fever.


What started off as a lost cause soon spiraled into a world of intoxicated vermin, it all started when we got confirmation that Souter had escaped his fungi state of mind from the night before and was up for a caravan alcoholic intake, the usual suspects turned up and the nights actions finally began to take shape, I had decided to sport a savage bit of double denim accompanied but quite possibly the finest glasses in the northeast.

Full cans soon turned to empty aluminium structures, this had something to do with the standard of music, it was without doubt unquestionable, we were flooding our ears with the likes of AC-DC, SABBATH, IRON MAIDEN and belive me the list of raw metal classics goes on. this liquid and musical mixture was bringing on a vibe of gargantuan proportions and when this happens you want to head for the ever elusive next level steam fest.

It was around the 12pm mark when the party cylinders began to run out and it had been decided the hell hole that is Sunderland town center was on the cards, remaining cans were supped, taxi’s booked and the nights movements where going to take a drastic u turn and shit was about to get messy


thinking back it was thirty minutes into town life when my mental transcript broke down, i have no recollection of what took place, it may have been the effects of  pouring booze on top of booze like a hungry pig untill reaching a total movement shut down. words and faces from the night in question lost forever and not even high quality fine tuning  could bring the jittery visions and vocals back from the dead. Fueled by the thing they call “DRINK” it simply turns the town and its inhabitants into a first class  zombie’s.

the glasses only had one night of lime light as they are officially LOST,  i woke up checked my shirt and it contained nothing but old chips, if you have any information about the safc ftm masterpieces please let me know as i would love to be reunited for one more night of wildness.

“Hair Of The Dogg”


Beware the photo’s i am about to share with you give a whole new meaning to the silky dip, and you can mark these words it has nothing to do with the kind that costs money and comes in a bun, the closest this post gets to meat is that which is wrapped around my fucking skull.

The insight i am attempting to turn to words structures around an event that took place on the first day of snow fall, it has a similar outcome to one on my previous posts even though it took place before the incident in question. I would like to apologise as i am suffering form a severe case of intertwined memory’s at this point, because this post pans out in the exact same way as my last adventure.

The actual piece of memory i’m looking for takes place at the end of  a heavy ghetto sledging session and starts when my eyes zone in on a miniature frozen lake in the distance, as soon as my brain had visual confirmation on this icy treat it’s as if i  knew what was coming next well before my mind had time to plan a tactical bombardment, the thoughts i was having maze well have already been distant memory’s, in the back of my normal shaped canister i knew what was in store for my next movement, “I’m going to slam my face deep into that icy tundra without even scanning over the consequences”

It’s as if i had one of devo’s uncontrollable urges, nothing could have stopped me, the barrel was fully loaded and my finger was twitching at the trigger like a Parkinson sufferer with a grade one vocal stutter. The next thing i know im holding my breath and my face is submerged in this festering ice-cold filth. When i finally gave into the sensations and stood up its as though i had been cleansed but at the same time was being struck down with a nasty case of locked-in syndrome (LIS) “you know whats happening but you can’t do anything about it”

When Mr C Souter witnessed the benefits of this facial frost up he was straight in with no questions asked, by this time i had regained full control over my vision and it looked like what was taking place in front of my eyes was some kind of prehistoric ritual maybe a strange form of taking away the warmth from your body’s and offering it to the gods, after a few goes each words began to fall from our mouths, Souter described it as a new kind of drug saying no chemical has made me feel this awake and aware of my surrounding, i myself was aquaplaning over the though that maybe this is one, if not the finest natural high on this crazy planet, but i was plagued by the one though that kept nipping at my mind, this right here right now has to be the finest hangover cure ever, many people including deranged scientists have tried and failed to locate a concoction of unholy narcotics that is able to eradicate the alcohol beast from the night before, some say fresh orange but all that fruity freak does is washes the filth from inside my bowls, the closet man has come to kicking the bastard on the brain is “hair of the dogg” but that’s not even in the same league as this haynes monstrosity, the icy tundra in all it’s glory is the real deal and there is no getting away from it.

next time you come across a bit of iced over perfection think back to these words and visual insights and why not give it go, the benefits speak for themselves.


Photo Of The Week.


What happens when you are confronted with a demon? the demon being “finding a whole chocolate cake in the snow” well i was one on one with such a dilemma and for me there could be only one outcome. fueled by the farringdon clubs finest i decided to take it on with a no holds barred attitude and give myself a facial with this urban treat. Above you can clearly see the aftermath of destruction with a nice case of total eye socket melt down. I would like to think if you were to find yourself in the same predicament i was in, you would do the same.


Dean Martin – Let it Snow!


Winter is truly upon us and by the look of the street there is nothing that can be done about it, we are doomed to be left with a fiendish mixture of wet slop and ice to send the brain into a drastic shutdown. any attempt to block out what is going on outside will only bring on a terrible bout of reclusiveness.

The clocked ticked 4:00pm today when i noticed the first snow drop of 2010’s winter, then BOOM minutes later, shit had hit the fan and the place was covered in a thick white muck, not even golf shoes could save you now.

You know times ahead are Bad when the stench of salt is in the air gritters in a race against time to lay their unholy salt crystals all over the steets. For most people a white out has no effect or meaning  but to me it’s game over, a brutal blow to the movements ahead, and this happend just as the street edit was starting to take shape, now the bastards been sent hurtling back in time, well before Dr Emmett Brown & Marty Mcfly’s escapades with the DeLorean.

the amount of footage that has been clocked so far is acceptable and of a good standard but in this case more is always better. even with the centimeter count of white filth getting higher i still belive a dry day is upon us. and when i lock socket on such a day, it’s on like tron and it’s time for likes of  Billy Lad n Bruce to throw the gauntlet down and send it for Sunderland.

taking a leaf out of the animal kingdom it’s time to bulk up and set the brian into a pre hibernation mode, it’s going to be treacherous out there and the temperature is going to plummet far beyond human tolerance levels, tough times are ahead and if you are to maintain any kind of sanity and have a wise head on them shoulders you will take this small bit of advise i have to offer on board. “with a warm face and belly full of meat and ale, nothing can touch you”

I leave you with the lyrical master that is Dean Martin.

Strange But True?


I tend to stay well clear of propaganda and urban chit-chat, but word on the street is Rob Hate has parted ways with the world of bmx to go in search of bigger and better things.

I’m hearing on the grape-vine his sole aim in life is to become the tv sensation that is Kinky John. But he has also stated that “this will only happen if the price is right”

Do you have any information on the person in question? or even better do you have the proof to turn this twisted fairy tale into reality?

Mr hate was last seen lurking around the end credits of NSF 3

Friday Night Insight – Static Life.


It’s never a dull night in the caravan of dreams, when you enter this one story static masterpiece you know you’re in for a heavy intake and a nasty bout of empty mind. and there’s nothing better than scanning over photographs of the nights movements to jog your memory back into action. below is the outcome of a friday night in the caravan from hell. featuring Dchum, Ant, Broge, Sirm, Ben, Jonny and the owner Mr Souter

SOUL – the thing from within.


I would like to tell you a theory of mine that structures around the human soul. I am going to have to start this faster than a dog on whiz out the traps at the races as whats inside my head wants out and if I don’t do it now, it will be lost forever.

My theory is that while your sleeping your soul leaves the body and is free to roam the earth, you know when you’re drifting off and you get that terrible full body glitch? some say its your heart missing a beat others say it’s a misinterpretation of signals in your brain, well in fact its your soul getting over excited about the mission ahead and attempting to abandon ship early. it’s not untill your fully in a dream state of mind does your soul start its movement from deep within, may I just add don’t belive the way the cinema attempts to show you this process, it’s nothing like a ghost like figure in fact its more like the shape of an orb, the soul can not take actual form untill it’s fully exited the body and it does this by filtering through the left eye socket.

I’m sure by now you are starting to think how have i came across such information, well this is more of an incident than a theory and the words i am about to share with you took place some time around late July 2008 after a night of cheap booze and even cheaper whiskey. I don’t recall falling asleep but i do remember waking up due to a sound like i have never heard before. I open my eyes to a strange figure standing at the bottom of my bed, at first this was only a silhouette but after time my eyes started to adjust to the darkness, standing there with no sound or movement i began to make out a few facial features, it almost looked like a young Egon Spengler.

Was i dreaming? is it a burglary? before i could say anything this ghost busting look a like exploded like a chinese cracker, the whole room light up like a badly decorated christmas tree, this bright green flash only lasted a matter of seconds before it started to shrink, if i had to describe it i would say it looked like one of tall man’s spheres floating at the back-end of my room.

I remember reaching for my phone to take a picture keeping full eye contact with this thing at all time, then without warning the fucker was coming straight at me i had no time for a reaction and the next thing i knew it was gone, without pain of feeling its as if i absorbed it through my eye. I sat up and by this point i was suffering from full body sweats my mind was racing, i was getting all kinds of strange thoughts flying around up there but the main one was what the fuck was that? at first i though maybe it was an alien or a type of mythical beast, then bang it hits me like a bad case of wet sock “i just caught my soul attempting to creep back in” immediately after it happened i was thinking should i say something or should i keep this strange experience to myself? I mean how would people react? and what would the have to say? in the end i decided to say nothing on this late night madness, as i thought to myself what if my soul could hear me!. For a week solid after the incident i set my alarm for the exact time hoping to catch another glimpse of my inner self but nothing out of the ordinary happened and all i was left with was the twisted memory of that strange night in July.

Ever thought to yourself your dreams are just to real not to belive or that they are so fucked up that there is now way your mind could have ever created such a complex masterpiece? do you often get the feeling that while you’re inside this dream world it’s almost like your having a (OBE) out-of-body experience ? well it’s actually a type of delayed feedback, whats happening is you are receiving a blurred version of your souls activities, even though the soul can be miles away from your body it’s still a part of you and you have a connection with it that’s normally only associated with twins, this is known as (ESP) extra sensory perception.

It’s been over 2 years now and ever since that night i have been on a one man mission, and my aim was to locate as much information as i could regarding the human soul. one of the best things i came across is that your soul is more like an alter ego, most humans can go a life time without locating or knowing anything about this thing from within, as while awake your soul is lying dormant inside awaiting the inevitable, your eyes reaching full tilt and you falling asleep. I would like to add no plastic knife can protect you from this terror.

I have found out there is a whole bunch of far superior beings out there on a complete different level to you and i, well maybe you but i am definitely on the right track and can not be far from the truth. These supreme beings are in fact people who are suffering from these two different disorders, the first one is called Multiple Personality Syndrome (MPS) and the second does by the name of, Dissociative identity disorder, (DID) is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple identities or personalities (known as alter egos), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. Its well-known these are the people who have fully accepted and acknowledge the beast from within, and it disgusts me to say this but what do we do as a society? pop them full of pills and tell them they are sick. When its the people who are afraid of whats lurking around under the flesh what are truly sick. “I demand the release of all people incarcerated and institutionalized for nothing more than accepting there is two people who reside around there skeleton”

I seen a classic case of (DID) quite recently when Steven Dawson stopped being Steven and allowed billy lad out to play, some people say it’s the alcohol and by god have they hit the nail on the head. It’s a scientifically proven fact that alcohol strengthens the soul allowing it to easily push aside the outer personality. Once this process has run a complete cycle only then do you see the true movements from the person in front of you, what was there no more than 15 seconds ago is more Mannequin than man and is no more than a social charade.

Dating back many century’s it is believed the soul leaves the body when you die, but i have a well thought out twist on this old wives tale, i belive you die if your soul does not get back to the body. if some how whilst roaming around it becomes lost, trapped out there in a lengthy limbo, leaving you behind as an empty shell.

After reading my insight into the human soul i think it is wise i leave you with this advice, if you look in the mirror one day and the person who is looking back does not look familiar, maybe you have started to allow the thing from within out to play. Well as Dr Thompson once said “buy the ticket take the ride” and i say “to hell with it why not”. Bar tender shots of (MPS) & (DID) all around.

Don’t just read this then x the page, look deep into your soul and let me know what comes to mind.